In Color

I've craved the feeling of painting while at home. My weekly visits to my favorite pottery store aren't enough lately. Several years ago I bought a few of those adult coloring books that are supposed to reduce anxiety and increase concentration. They frustrated me. I was impatient. Didn't even like the metallic color pencils I purchased for the sake of the tin they came in. 

Photo Credi (c)deyanira.

I've changed this past year. Part of me is calm. Part of me is erratic. Part of me still cares. But, most of me is looking for colors I've never seen before. Colors he'll never know or understand. It's these days I've turned to that which once caused me strife. See what I've done now? Added color to pages designed to entice and draw us in. 

I've listened to my heart through music and stumbled through the lyrical maze. Each time, the pain that once pulsated through my pores and streamed down my cheeks is harder to find.

I've turned to colors to amend my mood, give me perspective and a better life. Cheesy? Maybe. True? Definitely. Coloring these black and white pages and adding my color to them makes me happy. Happy, like a child. Happy, like I used to be - that innocent, kind of cheer. Do you remember that feeling? It was the sense of the present. Of being fully immersed in your mind and creation. Remember?

R & R : A Quest for Life

🐾 | Rescue. | Rehabilitate. |  🐾

Get up and go. When it comes to saving lives, there is only one way to do it. Not sure how to begin to describe the events of today. A call came in. A call we’d been waiting weeks for. There was no time to prepare for the swell of scared little bodies we were about to encounter. In no time did the group rally to gather the necessary supplies. Trucks heading down the street in the direction of hope. 

Hope for the small lives that are about to change. Significantly. The group unloaded their gear and began to embrace those in need. One by one they were secured into their lifesaving vessels. Hot. Dehydrated. Matted. Hungry. In pain. Freighted. Each one of them experiencing their moment of rescue in their unique way. Some welcomed the new gentle touch. Others were not able to accept it yet. 

We see so many in need. We packed up the trucks and looked around. It seems the fight is to change a never-ending tidal wave of recklessness and despair. People are lonely. People are frightened. People lack a connection with each other. 

A gap exists where it shouldn’t, and we can only think of a handful of ways to fill it and make us feel whole again. Sometimes, the presence of another is just enough to tip the balance back to level. Sometimes, all we need is just one or two to keep us engaged. Sometimes, some of us can’t get enough and are unable to stop that we insist on filling the already filled gap with more and more.

Paw + Hand Cut Out www.mountainmetalarts.com

Twenty-one dogs were rescued today. Twenty-one dogs will eat a full meal, drink clean water, curl up on a soft blanket. Twenty-one dogs are in the care of a group of people dedicated to their wellbeing. Twenty-one dogs don’t know what tomorrow awaits them. What they will grow to learn, every minute that passes is to trust and experience a pain-free life.

It’s easy when you know what you are doing. It’s easy to interact with so many lives in a day and leave them in much better shape than when you met them. It’s also easy to mess up. To become inundated with the enormous responsibility of keeping and maintaining a healthy and fruitful life. 

We depend so much on each other. Dog. Human. Human. Dog. We’ve evolved to walk the same path, experience the same losses, and enjoy companionship. There is no denying it. Don’t even try it.

*~*

If you'd like to help, please visit Lewis & Clark Humane Society's donate page 

Right for You

“When the time is right you’ll know,” they say.

Right for what?

For whom?

As we look to our futures through the windows of our cars, corner offices, and living rooms. We are alone. No two experiences are alike. In a place full of people, all looking through the same pane of glass at the world outside, the experience is not the same. Perceptions are unique. Feelings over the observed landscape are unique. It’s the feeling that changes us. It’s the feeling that pulls us apart and divides us. It’s the feeling that brings us together.

Look around you. Are you with friends? Family? Maybe strangers at a coffee shop or library? The number of people you are surrounded by at any given time is the number of similarities and differences you’ll engage (should you choose to).

We all face challenges, course correcting moments and life-altering decisions. Our reasons* may be the same as the person next to us, but it is the motivation* behind what we do (or don’t do) that is unique.

When is the right time to follow your gut? Instinct? When is the right time to pay attention to your “spider senses?” The answer is every time it surfaces. Every time your body tells you the persons you are surrounded by is deceiving you, is dangerous, is unfaithful, and untrustworthy. Agreement or compliance from others is not a sign they will protect you, have your best interest, or even come to your aide.

It’s an overwhelming thought to consider we are alone walking alongside a loved one, a friend, or a confidant. Each choice we make is for our very own reasons. Even when others make the same decision you do, the motivation is different. There are pressures to comply, conform, and make others happy. There is pressure not to disappoint or appear insensitive or inconsiderate.

Image Source: TED How to Make Choices

Sometimes, going against the grain, moving against the current, is taking care of yourself for yourself and no one else. It’s best not to wait. It’s best not to put it off. It’s best to consider your feelings before others. It’s a form of selfishness that keeps you from self-destructing by losing yourself to the demands of others.


// *Do you agree with WikiDiff's comparison and contrast of reason and motivation?

The Photo Feed

Edited photo by (c)deyanira.

Twenty years ago, I thumbed through photo albums. Slowly turning each page, caressing the photos stuck to the pages. Memories flood the mind. Photos were taken deliberately. Photos were planned. Pictures were special. 

Today, photos feel different - the collection of them. The digital space we take advantage of through our camera phones and editing apps have created an overabundance of photographic opportunity and creativity. I love it! And, I'm frustrated with it.

Original photo by (c)deyanira.

 

Too many. I have too many digital photos. We all do. We've become hoarders of digital media. Multiple copies of 'em. At least, I do. There is always the back up of the original photo. There is the backup of the filtered Instagram photo, Prisma app, Snapseed app, and other editing apps. If shared on social media sites, there is now that many copies on more than one server. 

Not much joy, do I take in scrolling through my personal digital photo feed. Does anyone else feel that? How good are you at finding photos from years ago? Do you have a copy of your digital images in the cloud and your computer?

This sunflower resides in Montana. Lut up by a beautiful bright sun. You wouldn't know it by the original image. The cleaned up photo is more true to what I saw and wanted to capture when I pulled out my phone.  It took Google Photos to automatically edit to digitally produce what I saw on that day. 

How do you manage your digital collection? Care to share your filing structure? 

Insignificant, Chest Wounds

An open gaping wound,

throbs at my chest.

If you could only see it,

darkness in the cavity,

the illuminated torn edges of flesh.

If you can feel it,

despite the biting cold surrounding it,

warm red drips from my fingertips. 

The wound is insignificance. 

Self Destruct by NekroXIII
(modified image found on Pinterest)