Défi

Hello. It's been a while. How are you?

Snow has barely fallen. Ice remains. Little Louie grows livelier every day. He's a smart one with innocent eyes. A kind face and curious expression. 

I missed critical foundational moments early on. It's crucial, in the development of any species, to be present in the early days and weeks. You only have one chance to make your mark. After that, it's a bit of an uphill battle to gain back what you've lost. So, that is where I am with Louie.

It's nothing I can't handle or work with. However, I am complaining. The plan, I set out for Louie didn't happen. Complaining will not change that. Only accepting the challenge will. That is the lesson, friends. 

"Challenges" at Despair.com

Crisp

Photo Credit: (c)deyanira.

The snow hasn't fallen yet - not really.  A few weeks ago the skies teased us with a taste of an early Winter, but it soon morphed into lovely Fall days.  Leave are everywhere. It's colorful along all the neighborhood streets. When parking along a curb, I can hear the crunch of the dry leaves which is as satisfying as a potato chip.

Syndrome

Take a look at this list. I typed "constantly changing" into the search field in hopes of finding something on a person's need to continually change aesthetics. It's comprehensive, this list is. It covers all the necessary things we're interested in our lives: ourselves and others. 

Photo Credit: (c)deyanria.

I never did find what I meant to: an answer to my constant need to continue to change this website.  Template after template, fonts, color schemes, and other tweaks. Too much self-editing. 

Giving too much and not enough - story of my life. I give people more than they need. Holding back seems, well, it's forced. I wasn't taught to be selective. I wasn't taught self-preservation. I was given examples of how to hide one's true self. It's much more work to do that than it is to give what I think you need. At least, that's how I see it: pretending. 

Don't get me wrong playing pretends was my favorite game as a kid. So much imagination goes into that. You never know how the story is gonna' go until you're right there making the decisions and bouncing ideas off each other. Remember how fun that was?

If you're still wondering about the title of this post...read the first search query. I read that as syndrome not synonym. For a quarter of a split second, I found what I was looking for. Yep. I did click on it. If you're laughing, worry not. You laugh with me not at me. 

// This late night post may not make sense tomorrow morning.

Sorry about that. 

An Evening Post

As weeks go, this one was especially exhausting. The season is turning. Fall has made its presence known with a chill in the air.  It's also been a week of changes - dramatic ones, it turns out. When you get used to someone or something. When you rely on it/them so heavily, you feel the void from the inside out. There is an eery silence at home. Things are back to normal, and it seems lonely, suddenly. Headaches surfaced again. Thoughts are jumbled, too.

Image Credit: Unknown

Roman, is out from hiding. Picasso visits more often. Ninja doesn't walk cautiously around corners expecting to encounter a swatting paw belonging to Kallee. The energy of Toulouse is missing. I didn't realize I'd spent so much time watching him play and keeping Kallee a safe distance away from the other animals. I vacuumed. I kinda' miss the disarray the foster cats made everything. I mean EVERYTHING - everywhere.

I lost a little succulent plant not too long ago. I had a plan for it. Planticide occurred here.  

The suspects are known, the details a bit fuzzy, but the scene - well, planting soil splattered with a clear pattern. It was a strategic attack. I'd like to point the finger to the obvious suspect: Toulouse the kitten, but my money is on Kallee. She is where she wants to be, and she doesn't give a sh*t. Toulouse is adopted, two days now. Kallee is set up and ready to go. She just needs to meet the right human in the right circumstances for her. She's a special feline. Knows what she wants. Doesn't share. And, a reliable awkward snuggler. Wanna' see her? 

The end is here. Abruptly. 

The Seasons

Tonight I'm reminded of Exposé's Seasons Change. I'd forgotten how much of a love song it is. It's sweet and innocent, this video. Three friends, together helping the other move on - forward w/their lives.

Things are different. Maybe, that's why these lyrics ring in my ear. It's early fall, and the air is not yet crisp. Last year was the coldest I've experienced here. I'm looking forward to this year's snowfall, bulky sweaters, boots, and potato leek soup. Winter cooking churns out the best meals. It's hearty. Much more satisfying than summer meals. Fall is a bit of both Winter and Summer, a strange blend. At least in my kitchen. Salads - fruit and vegetable, warm sandwiches, cold beer, but no icy drinks. 

🎶♯♭🎝

// Remember 1987? No! This music video will take you back. Enjoy.

"Some dreams are in the night time

And some seem like yesterday

But leaves turn brown and fade

Ships sail away

You long to say a thousand words

But seasons change

It feels like it's forever

No reason for emptiness

But time just runs away

No more day by day

You dream again it seems in vain

When seasons change

I want you

I want to feel you by my side

I need you

Don't you know I need you baby

Seasons change feelings change

It's been so long since I found you

Yet it seems like yesterday

Seasons change people change

I'll sacrifice tomorrow

Just to have you here today

For ever seems so far away

There's time for love and for play

You dream about today

Feeling slips away

The winds that blow they go away

And seasons change

I want you

Don't hide your feelings from inside

I need you

I've got to have your love now baby

Seasons change feelings change

It's been so long since I found you

Yet it seems like yesterday

Seasons change people change

I want you

I want to feel you by my side

I need you

I've got to have your love now baby

Seasons change feelings change

It's been so long since I found you

Yet it seems like yesterday

Seasons change people change

I'll sacrifice tomorrow

Just to have you here today

Just to have you here today

Seasons change feelings change

It's been so long since I found you

Yet it seems like yesterday

Seasons change people change

Change the season"

Songwriters: Lewis A Martinee

Seasons Change lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC