A Perceptible Abstract

The pages of The Secret Speech begin with the imminent destruction of a church in Moscow. I don't yet know the context behind this. The first characters are apprehensive, conflicted, and have no way out of participating and witnessing the event. The crowds in the area have a different notion.

As I do when reading - I interrupted myself with thought.

I pictured scenes from the Ireland, Middle East, Africa, and Selma, Alabama. Destroying areas of worship has a far more profound reach than neighborhoods and business districts - not in the loss of life, but rather a deep loss of self. As for the human population goes - we can create more, and we can rebuild. But, sacred areas can never be restored. Sacred spaces are one of a kind. Original. They are like Tibetan Sand Mandalas, the minutes ticking by - all of which will never exist and be experienced again. No other human, nor sunrise or sunset will ever grace the walls - trees- sands and earth. It's a far more significant loss to the individual than it is to the whole of the group.

Well, that's enough ramblings for now. I return to page 5 and finish chapter one.

-- (c)deyanira.

Jesus on a Greyhound, Shelby Lynne

I was on my way to somewhere to the Mexicali sand
A man sat down beside me, he had scars upon his hands
He told me some stories - I told him some lies
Light shone through my darkness, cast shadows from my mind

His eyes they looked right through me
Oh I knew he carried weight
Something real was going down that day
Oh I told him I'm a sinner

He said that's o.k.
I'm not here to change you anyway
He was gone when I turned around
Was it Jesus - Jesus on a Greyhound

Oh we talked about the world gone bad
The troubles we had seen
We talked about the dirt
Brown shoes he wore on his feet

He said I'm tired and weary
I've been riding a long way
Let me rest my eyes now
Let me drift away

He acted Like he knew me
Then he fell asleep
I had no More secrets
I could keep

Oh I told him I'm a sinner
He said that's o.k.
I'm not here to change you anyway

He was gone when I turned around

Was it Jesus - Jesus on a Greyhound
And I'll rise again
Ain't no power on earth can keep me down

And I'll rise, I'll rise again
Oh ain't no death can keep me in the ground
Was that Jesus

Songwriters: Glen Ballard / Shelby Lynne

Jesus on a Greyhound lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., The Bicycle Music Company

Dark Lights

A large truck with double headlights followed me home tonight.

Two or three years ago my Ex, replaced my headlights with brighter ones. No complaint on my part as I could see more road and appreciated the gesture. However, driving after sundown is a hit or miss situation of which drivers my bright lights will offend. The flickering of their headlights as they approach and pass me is a clear indication.

"There is nothing I can do," I say to them with my mind. I'm sure all consider me a rude driver, and this embarrasses me. Tonight is the first time a driver turned around and followed me with high beams deliberately. For several residential blocks along Broadway, we traveled the same direction. At last the driver turned off the road just before the capital building. But, I saw the hesitation at the stop sign.

Headlights in the Dark

Thinking to myself, "Well, I guess they finally decided I've learned my lesson, they've gone their merry way." I did look back to get a better look - it appeared white or gray in color. This was when I began thinking of all the ways human interactions go wrong. Of all the encounters I've had with strangers that could have ended badly.  Typical fears crossed my mind: rape, murder, injury... I was reminded of the dangers of the world. I'm a woman, and all sorts of things go along with that. I shrug it off and continue towards my neighborhood. 

Turning on the main road towards home, guess who is driving up the way. *sigh* At the sight of my beautiful bright lights, the large truck with double headlights slows down and almost comes to a complete stop. Then hastily makes a turn - onto my street. Great.

I suppose I could have (should have) driven to the gas station and create distance, but instead turned and was now following it. The truck slowed down, then picked up speed, and slowed down again and quickly parked in an open space along my block just a few houses away from mine.

Safety protocols indicate NOT to drive home. Safety protocols also suggest making eye contact with your potential threat. So I did. I drove past and parked at home (I have a healing kitten to look after). I got out of my truck and made sure the large truck with the double high beam headlights saw me seeing it.

It's not the first time I've had to do that. Strangely the first time it happened, while walking Mick, on a snowy night - it too, was a white or gray truck. I'll admit to hiding behind a tree until I gathered my courage to cross the street, make eye contact and quickly walk back to my apartment.  

Not everything is dangerous to all. 

Yet, some dangers are unique to some.

Stay safe my friends.